We at the Idler are thrilled to announce that today has been approved as World Idleness Day.
Following extensive lobbying of MPs and Lords in Parliament by the Idler magazine, as well as the European Union, the decision was taken to give the whole world a day off, which is great news for the idle revolution. What a lovely surprise for Easter.
Dubbed WILD, the idea of a global do-nothing day was greeted with enthusiasm by world leaders.
President of the European Commission Ursula von der Layen said:
“In these extremely challenging times we support the Idler magazine in its campaign to increase life-saving leisure time for all. At last the European project of wandering around in olive groves drinking wine all day begun by Socrates is being realized.”
Former Governor of the Bank of England Mark Carney commented: “John Maynard Keynes foresaw that man with all his ingenuity would create a fifteen hour working week by 2030. We’re not there yet but WILD is a step in the right direction.”
Goldman Sachs chief David Solomon, whose young staff recently complained about 100-hour working weeks, said:
“We do all need to find balance in this connected world. By all means take a day off but if we all go an extra mile for our client, even when we feel that we’re reaching our limit, it can really make a difference in our performance.”
And Harry and Meghan commented:
“We feel true, genuine compassion for all the little people out there who have to work for a living. Our hearts go out to them. We see you. For our part, we will honour Meghan and Harry Day (MAHD) by reflecting compassionately on the ills done to us by the world’s media and our own struggles with mental health, wellbeing and annoying parents.”
Not all prominent Brits were in favour. Former PM David Cameron, lobbyist for collapsed usury firm Greensill, said:
“Man was born to toil, to get up at six in the morning, scrape the ice off the windscreen and work all the hours that God gives for a massive, cruel corporation so it can pay me millions in stock options to lobby the government to borrow money cheaply to lend to other people expensively.”
He added: “Idleness for me – yes – but not for the hard-working families of this country who must be kept busy in case they start thinking too much.”
And former chancellor George Osborne said: “I’ll be working as normal today. Hard, hard work for amoral, ruthless corporations in return for enormous wealth – that’s my philosophy. None of this sitting around under trees reading poetry nonsense.”
UK prime minister Boris Johnson, however, supported WILD:
“The inner idler in all of us needs as much encouragement as possible,” said the Tory PM. “Otium is a jolly good thing, as Cicero taught us. And that’s why I am fully behind this terrific idea. I for one will be indulging in a glorious post-prandial siesta this very day. Idle on! Hodie est otiandum!”
World Idleness Day will take place on 1 April each year.
