Dan Kieran finds good counsel in the words of the Stoic emperor

While most of us get drip fed information through social media in a time of crisis, according to Time magazine this actually increases unease (https://time.com/5125894/is-reading-news-bad-for-you/) so do yourself a favour and turn off Twitter. Reach for the greats instead. I keep Meditations by my bed because, despite being nearly 2,000 years old, it’s my most reliable anti-panic manual. Written by a Stoic Roman emperor, widely praised and worth reading in its entirety, it also contains a mantra I use whenever I am stressed. I find myself saying it a lot at the moment.

‘Objective judgement at this very moment. Unselfish action at this very moment. Willing acceptance at this very moment of all external events, that is all you need.’

Sounds great right? But it’s not just a pithy phrase. It changes your life when you practice it.

Let’s take the first bit. ‘Objective judgement at this very moment.’ What does this mean?

Your mind rarely thinks about this very moment. It’s usually pondering a previous one or one that might happen in the future. Have you actually run out of loo roll and are you unable to buy more in this very moment? No? Well why are you obsessing about where you can buy 18 rolls from this afternoon then? If it’s not happening in this present moment you can’t be objective about it because it might not happen at all. Do some research. It turns out loo roll is made in the UK. It is the one thing there is almost zero chance of us ever running out of. Loo roll does not require some rare and unusual element to create. Objectively, running out of loo roll is not a problem. Try your local corner store. See? Problem solved.

The mantra really is that good.

But what if things are not fine in this very moment? What if you actually have run out of loo roll and can’t find any more? You will find the mantra works then too because in the very moment of running out  your ‘objective judgement’ will come into focus and you will think something along the lines of ‘I’ll ask next door if they have a spare one’, which they probably will have. Or failing that, ‘I can root around the house and find some tissues until I next go out.’ If you are in quarantine and can’t go out, or if you have no neighbours to ask, you could use some leaves from the garden. In the absolute worst-case scenario, you will have to use your hand and then wash it really carefully afterwards. Is that really something you are unable to cope with? Exactly. Get hold of yourself. Your objective judgement rises to the occasion you face much more effectively than worrying in advance about something that might not happen at all.

The second part of the mantra is ‘unselfish action at this very moment.’ What does this mean?

This means once you have put your fears and concerns to one side using your objective judgement, you are free to think and do something for those around you instead. The people you can make an immediate difference to right now are your neighbours. How are they feeling about what’s going on? Is there anyone on your road that needs your help? Could you find out? Could you join or create a Whatsapp group for your street so anyone who is scared or lonely or self-isolating who needs something can ask a friendly neighbour for help? If there isn’t a group on your street you could print out a short note with your name, the number flat or house you live in and your phone number and ask if anyone wants to join a group so there is a shared resource you can all use if you get stuck. Even if 10% of your street respond (50% of mine have so far since my wife and two of our neighbours did this last week) you will feel less alone in your house on your street than you ever have before. It turns out an A&E Doctor and two nurses live on our street. The Doctor needs help walking her dog because she’s working all the time. At the last count seven people have volunteered to help. And yes, someone has already said they have loo rolls if anyone runs out, so no-one needs to strip the local supermarket of them. Incidentally, the Doctor told the group everyone should stay at home because it will help the NHS to cope. For once the definition of ‘unselfish action’ is abundantly clear to all. Stay at home.

When you perform unselfish action, you will immediately notice the unintended consequence that helping others makes you feel good too.

The last bit, ‘willing acceptance of all external events’ is the wisest sentence I have ever read. It applies far beyond our current crisis. Dig into it and you will find all you need to live contentedly.

The only thing you can control in your life is the way you respond to what happens to you. That really is all you need to realise and act on to have a happier life. You cannot prevent a global pandemic any more than you can control the way your partner or your children behave. You have to work on how you react to these things instead. Now there are obvious caveats to this. It does not mean you should acquiesce to abuse, which is a real issue in the lock down we are all facing. If this is something you face, contact https://www.refuge.org.uk/ and if it’s not, donate some money to them so they can help people who are.

What ‘willing acceptance of all external events’ means in the context of Covid-19 is that if and when you are forced to self-isolate at home with your family you will cope much better if you accept it, make the best of it and see it as a creative challenge rather than rage about whether it’s the right thing to do on Twitter. If you face it willingly with a smile on your face and make it as much fun as you can you will be helping everyone around you get through it too.

Here’s the mantra again. Learn it off by heart and you will be equal to whatever practical or metaphysical scrapes appear in the months ahead.

‘Objective judgement at this very moment. Unselfish action at this very moment. Willing acceptance at this very moment of all external events, that is all you need.’

Dan Kieran is a writer and the co-founder and CEO of Unbound