Sensitivity in people is often seen as a problem, but it’s actually one of our most important human traits, writes Jenn Granneman, co-author of Sensitive: The Power of a Thoughtful Mind in an Overwhelming World, extracted here… 

In common usage, sensitive can mean a person has big emotions – crying for joy, bursting with warmth, wilting from critique. It can also be physical; you may be sensitive to temperature or fragrance or sound.

A growing body of scientific evidence tells us that these two types of sensitive are real and that they are in fact the same. Physical and emotional sensitivity are so closely linked that if you take Tylenol to numb a headache, research shows you will score lower on an empathy test until the medication wears off.

Sensitivity is an essential human trait, and one that is tied to some of our species’ best qualities. But it is still not widely understood by the public, despite being well studied by the scientific community. These days, thanks to advances in technology, scientists can reliably test how sensitive a person is. They can spot differences in the brains of sensitive people on functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) scans, and they can accurately identify the behavior of sensitive people in scientific studies, including the powerful advantages that come with being sensitive.

Yet most people — perhaps your boss, your parents, or your spouse — do not think of sensitivity in this way, as a real, measurable personality trait.

More to the point, sensitivity is often seen as a bad thing. We discourage it in our kids (“stop crying!” or “shake it off!”), and we weaponise it against adults (“you’re overreacting” or “you’re being too sensitive”). We hope this book will change that. We envision a world where the word sensitive is commonplace in our everyday conversations, so that a person can say “I’m very sensitive” at a job interview or on a first date and receive an approving smile. This is a tall order, but it’s not impossible. Introverted was once a dirty word, too, but today there’s nothing unusual about introducing oneself in this way. We want to create a world where the same is true of sensitivity. We believe that normalising this deeply human quality will finally allow sensitive people to thrive — and when they do, society will benefit from their unique gifts.

Over the last decade, we’ve been privy to many conversations in which someone learns for the first time what sensitivity really is. When they do, something that was previously missing clicks into place. They have an “aha” moment about who they are and why they do the things they do — or they finally understand their child, co-worker, or spouse in a different way.

Thus, we believe that sensitivity is often the missing personality trait. It is missing from our daily conversations and from our awareness as a society. It’s missing from our schools, workplaces, politics, institutions, families, and relationships.

This missing knowledge matters. It’s what makes sensitive people hide who they are or feel so out of place. Perhaps this knowledge has been missing from your life, too.

This is an extract from Sensitivity: The Power of a Thoughtful Mind in an Overwhelming World by Jenn Granneman and Andre Sólo.

We’ll be chatting to Jenn on “A Drink with the Idler”, Thursday 27 April at 6pm London time. Book your tickets here. Free to Idler magazine and Academy subscribers.

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