It’s Procrastination Week, so here’s a short piece from 2020 on the joys of stealing back time by Dan Kieran

Jerome K. Jerome once wrote, ‘Idleness, like kisses, to be sweet must be stolen’ and thus we enter the blissful world of procrastination. When else are those extra moments in bed so utterly delicious than when you should really already be on your way to work?

I suppose you could start your homework right now and then have a day off before you have to hand it in, but how much better to have a day off now before you’ve even started any work at all?

Steal back your time from those troublesome errands and wallow in it, savouring every second. I’ve certainly never found the extended edition boxed set of Lord of the Rings trilogy quite as alluring as I did when the deadline for this very book approached.

But it takes dedication to learn how to procrastinate properly. All deadlines must still be kept or the theft of time loses its effect. In fact the slogan on every workplace up and down the land should be: “Minimum effort, maximum effect!”

From The Book of Idle Pleasures, Ed Dan Kieran and Tom Hodgkinson (Ebury Press)

Artwork by Ged Wells

A Drink with the Idler

Our guest on “A Drink with the Idler” this evening is the philosopher and gamer C. Thi Nguyen, whose subject will be How to Stop Playing Someone Else’s Game. That’s Thursday 12 March at 6pm. Find out more and book tickets here.
It’s FREE to subscribers – otherwise £7.50.

Subscribe to the Idler here and get 12% off the shop price plus a FREE copy of Idle Thoughts by Tom Hodgkinson, worth £8.95.

Subscribers may comment. Please add your idle thoughts using the box below

How to Live Like a Stoic

The March/April 2026 issue of the Idler (#108) is out today – available in Waitrose, Smiths and TG Jones.

Click here for your nearest stockist.