Here’s a taster from the September/October edition of the Idler (out now) – The Fluffer’s Demise by Murray Lachlan Young

Sung to the tune of “The Sheep Stealer” from Ewan MacColl’s 1966 album The Manchester Angel, “The Fluffer’s Demise” links the place of “loss of trades” songs (covered in folk music around other subjects such as the Luddites and the weavers) with the alleged loss to the pornography industry of that enigmatic character and trade, the fluffer, through the introduction of Viagra.

Well, I’m a brave lass and me fortune is passed
And I used to have money and skill
But me fortune it ends and me life it descends
In the wake of a little blue pill
(yes it does)
In the wake of the little blue pill

Well, me Ma’ were a fluffer
And me Pa’ were a fluffer
And I were a fluffer the same
I soon rose to the top
Became the cream of the crop
And I drank of the finest champagne
(yes I did)
Oh, I drank of the finest champagne

And they’d say get along in there fluffer
They’d say there’s work in there for you fluffer
There’s a lad that’s gone bad in the brain
So, we did what we could
For to work upon the wood
And the cameras they’d roll once again
(me brave girls)
Oh the cameras they’d roll once again

But then came the pill
Oh, that little blue pill
Oh, I curse its creator by name
For it done for me trade
And me life was waylaid
And it caused me such sorrow and pain
(me brave girls)
It caused me such sorrow and pain

They’d say get along out of there now fluffer
There’s no work there for you fluffer
They said it’s over and it’s finished and done
It’s the end of your race now you’ve been replaced
And the darkness for fluffers had come
(me brave girls)
Yes the darkness for fluffers had come

So the fluffers, they were scattered,
All over all over the land
And they did what they could to survive
In order to eat, some worked cheap tricks on the street
Just to keep their frail bodies alive
(me brave girls)
Just to keep their frail bodies alive

Now I were a fluffer, a fluffer I were
My story is strange but it’s true
So, in your big fancy cars
You should look to your stars
Because next time it might just be you
(me brave girls)
And next time it might just be you.

This appears in the September/October edition of the Idler, out now.

Our September/October issue is available is available in Waitrose, Waterstones, Smiths Travel outlets, select Smiths high street branches and in around 100 indie stores. Click here for your nearest stockist.