And it’s not that Johnson once played for FC Barcelona. Tom Hodgkinson reveals…  

What do Lionel Messi and Dr Johnson have in common? They’re both fundamentally lazy. Laziness is Messi’s secret and the reason why he is probably the best football player in the world.

“For much of a game,” argues Harry Mount in the Idler today, “he just strolls around, looking strangely detached from the sound and fury of the toiling footballers alongside him – both his opponents and his own side. And then, suddenly, he spots an opportunity, has a sudden injection of energy and scores a match-winning goal.”

Messi’s laziness is a fact. The New York Times recently reported the Argentine captain’s penchant for strolling about: “Walking has accounted for 63 per cent of his movement across the World Cup, a share that is far clear of any other outfield player in the competition.”

Sometimes he can’t even be bothered to walk: “Messi [spends] a further 25 per cent of the match simply standing still. Occasionally, 8.6 per cent of the time to be precise, he breaks into a jog, lagging far behind the tournament average of 23 per cent, while he rarely accelerates into a sprint.”

Says Harry: “Dr Johnson, patron saint of the Idler magazine, was like this. He’d spend weeks doing nothing – building up his stock of knowledge, chatting away and listening in the alehouses of London. And then, when his deadline loomed, he struck – Messi-like – with the finest pieces.”

In fact, another word for “idleness” might be “efficiency”. The idle writer or footballer doesn’t waste energy in frantic scrambling. He or she observes, waits and thinks before acting.

So if you want to be the best, do less. Maybe England just worked too hard on Wednesday.

Please send me your thoughts.

Live well,

Tom

PS Thanks to everyone who came to the Idler Festival last weekend – best ever I think! There were so many highlights, and we’ll be posting pics presently, but for now I’d like to give Jah Wobble a mention for his brilliant stories and jokes and working-class Buddhist wisdom: “Just fucking be!”

SELECTED COMMENTS

These comments were mailed to us after an earlier version of this piece was sent out as a newsletter. We like to publish a selection and reserve the right to edit them for clarity. Please add your thoughts in the box below.

Sir: Your observations regarding Messieurs Messi and Johnson remind me not only of Coleridge (who famously characterized his approach to work as “indolence capable of energy”) but also the great jazz guitarist Jim Hall, who was renowned for his good taste and economy of notes. Legend has it that, after witnessing a performance by a younger, less seasoned musician eager to flaunt his prodigious technique, Hall advised him, “Don’t just do something, sit there!”
Kent Burnside, Franklin TN, USA

Sir: It’s probably the secret to Messi’s longevity in the game, too. And yes, he does bide his time and when he smells blood he strikes, as he did on Argentina’s second goal yesterday. Sorry, by the way. Gutting defeat for England.
Paul Ottaviano

Sir: I was a first time Idler festival attendee and loved it. I thought the venue and locale added to the vibe and interest, though I understand you may want a change. I especially loved the pink swing seats in the orchard – see below.  And here’s my pal Julia Warren in the orchard. Looking forward to seeing other photos.
Tina Podmore

Sir: Am I wrong to recognise myself in this encomium?
Rowley Leigh

Sir: My modus operandi.
Fiona Harley

Sir: I agree with you, I do fuck all. And when I need to deliver, and my deadline looms, I ignore it and still do fuck all! Yours (if I could be arsed).
Adrian

Sir: YES  less is MORE.Breathe slowly . Ask myself is ‘this’  thought / action useful…
Christianne Heal

Sir: Thank you for your insights — as always, they are spot on. Yesterday, on German television, Bastian Schweinsteiger cited a statistic showing that, in international matches between Germany and Argentina, Messi has covered less ground than Germany’s goalkeeper Manuel Neuer. Even so, Messi’s success speaks for itself. Best regards from Munich.
Holger

Sir: 100%
Martha Chum

Sir: Reminds me of that viral video of american football where the guy just casually picks up the ball and walks calmly towards the goal.  I think it’s a metaphor for humanity. We’re so distracted by busy-ness that we forget to see what’s going on in plain sight right under our noses.
Kristina Wirz

Sir: Love it!
Andrew Humphreys

Sir: Harry Mount likes walking about in Hampstead.
James H

Sir: My best friend was chrismooreillustration.co.uk/ who was the top guy for sci-fi book jackets having pioneered airbrush to enhance reality. He would play pool all night as an 08.30 deadline loomed and sit down at 05.00 to produce such works of genius as Hal the Space Odyssey computer…
Duncan Collins

Sir: Great analogy and there’s something to be said for laziness, but I think it’s just efficiency in Messi’s case and the fact he’s 39 and the best player to have ever played football. England certainly needed to work much harder though. And because they didn’t, and were too passive and allowed the maestro too much space, they lost. Only the geniuses can be ‘lazy’. Mere mortals must work hard.
Alex Dodsworth

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