Crap Jobs: Chicken eviscerator, box folder, battery maker

28 Oct|Readers

Not eggsactly thrilled

Factory farm chicken eviscerator
I’ve had many crap jobs but one of the worst has been working on a time-bound, fast factory line, eviscerating factory farmed chickens – I won’t mention what the young men got up to with the chickens – but spending all day, every day on your feet in a cold environment, white wellies and overalls cutting open chicken’s arses, getting covered in┬áchicken shit and green bile in order to remove guts has surely got to be one of the worst jobs ever! Beat that someone!
Susan Sullivan

Cardboard box folder
A friend and I were given a temporary job working in a marzipan factory. After getting changed into white overalls and hairnets we were led to where we were going to be working. Apart from the overpowering smell of crushed almond mix all seemed fine. In front of us was a large stack of pre-cut cardboard. The supervisor, very earnestly, told us to pick up a piece of cardboard, hold it just so, fold up the sides, fold up the back and, hey presto, we had something that looked similar to a takeaway pizza box. After doing this a few times I asked what was next. This was greeted with a blank look, “What do you mean next, this is the whole process”. It was just over two hours before we were offered a tea break. We looked at each other, confirmed that our self-worth was greater than the minimum wage on offer, got changed back into street clothes whilst promising the supervisor that we would return after a quick cigarette. Obviously, we never returned but took the whole experience as a salutary lesson in not taking idleness seriously enough. Also, I gave up smoking soon after.
Andrew Mailing

Battery maker
Just the one? If I had to choose, it would be the industrial battery factory. I recall doors being flung open on a scene that had no relationship with the smart foyer.
Lines of blue-coated, dust-smeared workers lined the benches as a belt churned blocks of black carbon that acquired more shiny accessories as they progressed down the line. My job was to seize a passing block, and for some unclear reason shove an elastic band around it, then throw it back on the belt. As no one could do this and remain sane, you got to move to the tweezer squad. This involved plucking metal rings, freshly coated in sulphuric acid and flinging them into a bowl of water. Despite the bowls being no bigger than a mixing bowl, there was splashing. Science was never my strong suite, I felt a need to ask if the water remained water after this metal stuff piled up in it. After failing to get an answer for a week as well as thinking it cool and amusing to comment about better conditions being found in the mines of Moria. I found my skills were no longer required. I was glad I would see day light during the week again.

Had a Crap Job? Send your account, in four hundred words or less, to: [email protected]