What time do you get up in the morning?

6.50 a.m.

Do you sleep well?

Not especially – my prostate gland is bigger than Michael Gove.

How many hours a day do you spend at your desk?

Do you include sleeping on it? In which case, anything up to ten.

What do you do when you are not working?

Sleep on my desk.

What are you reading?

This.

Will Self’s new novel, Shark, is out now. He is coming to the Idler Academy to give a talk on Thursday 6 November