SO FAR THIS month we idlers have dilly-dallied, stared at our sad-looking vegetable patch, studied seed catalogues by the fire, visited some other gardens and generally done anything to avoid actual work.

This must stop. March is the time, as Virgil says, when “the bounteous earth prepares to give birth, and the meadows ungirdle to the zephyr’s balmy breeze; the tender moisture avails for all.”

Meaning, get off your lazy behind and sow some seeds.

But what to sow? Columella, the ancient Roman gardening writer, advised the following: “the most pleasing and useful to man are the bean, the lentil, the pea, the cow-pea, the chick-pea, hemp, millet, panic grass, sesame, lupin… they are entrusted to the earth to best advantage in the latter part of March.”

Cue some sort of unfinished joke about the idlers of March.

Well, the above list, with its lentils and chick-peas, is perhaps not suitable for all climates. 18th century English gardener John Evelyn has a different list:

“Sow in the beginning Endive, Succory, Leeks, Radish, Beets, Chard-Beet, Scorzonera, Parsnips, Skirrets, Parsley, Sorrel, Bugloss, Borrage, Chervils, Sellery, Smalladge… sow also Lettuce, Onions, Garlick, Orach, Purslan, Turneps… sow also Carrots, Cabbages, Cresses, Fennel, Marjoram, Basil, Tobacco &c.”

That lot will keep you busy but at least you’ll be growing your own fags. Now there’s a money-saver.

A more recent authority, John Seymour, has a far simpler list for the idle gardener:

“Drill early peas. Sow leeks in a seed bed. Sow lettuce and radish.”

Should take about an hour. Then you can go back to reading about gardening, which is more pleasant to some of us than actually doing it.

ENDS